Summer 2010

With summer fast approaching the usual symptoms are flaring: a dramatic rise in underage fornication, drinking and drugging, hayfever, pre-exam stress and of course the unavoidable growth in libido. It's only right that there are some guidelines set for the coming season as the festivities have been known to bow down to errors in summer conduct in the past, so make sure you're on the right side of the summer code.

1. Thou shalt not don sandals if thou hast a bad pedicure or crusty toes in general.
   On numerous occasions boys have complained about the condition of certain females toes as they insist on wearing sandals in summer: all to no avail. Ladies if you are going to wear sandals make sure you have your credentials in check, it's only fair on the people who have to witness the state of your feet. Also a pedicure is good hygiene.
   
   
2. Thou shalt not don layers of coats, hoodies , jeans and wooly hat.
   Too many times we have witnessed "the mandem" strutting around in 25 degree (Centigrade) weather in full winter gear, Ok guys- let's not pretend you don't suffer a heat stroke when you go round the corner. It doesn't look good and you shouldn't do it- it's a bloody eyesore.
   
   
3. Thou shalt wear summer colours.
   Guys and dolls, try to keep it on a funky vibe- it's summer! Think carnival! Try to fill your wardrobe with tasty pastel colours for summer and don't be afraid to go wild with blazing yellows and violets.Boys, replace the black long sleeved polo for a yellow one and you're set, ladies, try to get out of the habit of wearing jeans and go for a pair of hot pants or those saucy summer frocks- H&M are doing a great collection.
   
   
4. Thou shalt be creative.
   Let's face it guys, for most of us it's our GCSE/A-LEVEL year and we can't afford to go to every house party or rave, so try to be creative about how you have fun without compromising your education. Try to have picnics with friends: bring books, a blanket,exotic food and a decent sound system. Don't invite too many people or it may turn into a full blown party.
   
   
5. Thou shalt save money.
   Guys we are on our way to university pretty soon and we damn sure can't fuck up all our money, I know some of you have girlfriends (not links, not bangbuddies- actual girlfriends) that you take out and whatnot and I rate you for this, but it's not the one right now... this links back to rule 4: pull your finger out and be creative.
   
   
6. Thou shalt shed your head of braided extensions.
   Ladies, this point has been stressed for many years: Braids need to go. Badly applied horse hair is not a good look and it does leave you looking like Whoopi Goldberg. Go for a hot perm, mohican, crop or Rihanna cut- it will definitely be much more comfortable in the heat.
   
   
7. Guys, I really think it's time to move past stuffing shoes with socks.
   The natural curve of the foot it THE look for summer, throw away your airforces and airmax and grab yourself a pair of converse slim and even a pair of dunks as pose to the A1's ( I know some of you are like a dog with a bone about those damned Airforces).
   
   
8. Ladies, thou shalt keep a decent manicure.
   Here is a discrete guideline to nails: Bitten through- ugly, chipped-shambles, stained-fix up, dirty-go home. Noone likes a dirty manicure and guys wouldn't be too keen to have you touch them with it, synthetic nails always look nice- have a go?
   
   
9. Leave your bullshit at the door.
   There will be no mention of insecurities and there will be no bitching, summer is a festive time, a time to love.
   
   
10. Be free.
    Try new things people, don't be afraid to broaden your horizons!

There they are, MY summer guidelines for 2010

; take them and use them wisely ;)

Larry Bucks (no homo)