Dear readers, I've spent the last two weeks in florida living the "american dream"; America is one shit country. I've been to South Africa, I've been to Zimbabwe, I've been to Zambia- Orlando to me looked like one of the more upmarket areas in Zimbabwe, with their retarded cars with ridiculous carbon emissions and dumb government. I have rounded up the good and the bad aspects of my Florida experience:
BAD
- Black American boys are blatantly ALL gay; they all wear these gay arse dresses and call them "tall tees", don't get me wrong I'm quite tolerant of the homosexual community, but the one thing I refuse to tolerate are gay people that are not fashionable- THESE NIGGERS WORE SOCKS WITH SANDALS...ALL OF THEM.
- Black people in American in general are inbred in general they are the product of selective breeding in the slave times hence all these big motherfuckers dominating the NBA and NFL; The life expectancy for a black person is like 26 because if they aren't playing a sport by the time they are 12 they weigh roughly the same as a small baby whale.
- Black people food in America is all poison, "grape drink" is this purple mixture of some sort of odd tasting chemical and sugar which has NO grape in it, I should know - I have tasted actual grapes before. Their chicken has no flavour, it relies on various sugar filled sauces for taste and as a pose to having breadcrumbs on their fried chicken..they have a fatty batter coating.
- They have no fucking pavement. How can they have no fucking pavement? They have pavements in front of hotels, but as soon as you want to go to a shop you are forced to walk on the road in the path of their big arse cars because it's either that or you walk in the snake infested grass. Hell no.
- Their cars have to be big enough to accommodate a family of fair sized whales so it's understandable that the average American car is enough to block out a portion of the sun, but only an American can believe that Chrome rims are still cool- a lot of these car parts look like they were made in a toy factory in china by a four year old girl.
- The food is bigger than my face.
GOOD
- American food restaurants generally give you free refills on drinks, so you're bound to get value for your ugly green money.
- The immigration service at the airport is tight as hell (not that any rational human actually wants to get in) but the border control is SHIT so you know a lot of Mexicans get in, the amount of Latina's that are willing to marry a US citizen to get a green card is mad. I'm contemplating becoming a citizen myself- get me some latina booty.
- Breakfast buffet was inclusive. Other than that when the Americans say buffet they REALLY mean buffet; the food is dripping in fat so you are bound to be full after your first plate and the itis will hit you half way through that plate- clearly the Americans had never dealt with a pedigree African. #nobullshit.
I'm really struggling to find some good points to even out this article, so to support the good I'm going to mention the Latinas once more- Orlando being a resort city is full of Brazillians too.. Who knew Brazillian chicks preferred white guys..
LB
